I wasn’t born a patient person, and I am sure patience is something we learn and not in our DNA. How I wish I was a patient person, maybe my mind would be less burdened.
To be honest I hate waiting. I hate waiting for people to show up. I hate waiting to recieve something. I hate waiting for people to change and grow up. I hate waiting for my plans to become more than dreams. I hate waiting for life to reveal itself to me. I hate waiting…
I think a person with patience could wait, but for me I am impatient yet I still wait. Is it that I have a choice? No, I wait because there is no other option. When you wait it means things are out of your control and that is how it is for me.
I made a decision to live my life the way I want to, to not hold my dreams back because I want to make my family happy. I don’t think I could make them happy if my own happiness is the price. No, I used to think that my happiness was worth sacrificing but I realized that I deserve to be happy…we all do.
Sometimes you have to leave them behind a few steps so you can find what you need. For me, it seems to be that way. I have spent my life waiting for so many things and it is tiring.
How I wish my thoughts weren’t in chaos from the waiting. See, for me the waiting leaves so many doors open for things to go wrong. It is the period between what is and what will be that scares me. It is the unknown aspect of waiting. I hope I never have to wait...
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